Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Ready to finally silence that nagging voice of fear? In "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway," Susan Jeffers offers a powerful toolkit to transform your relationship with fear, not by eliminating it (spoiler: that's impossible!), but by learning to navigate it with confidence and grace. You'll discover how to shift from a place of powerlessness to one of empowered action, reclaiming control over your life and decisions. Prepare to challenge limiting beliefs, embrace positive thinking, and build a life grounded in self-trust and love. This book is your compassionate guide to breaking free from the shackles of fear and stepping boldly into a more fulfilling and authentic existence. Get ready for a journey of self-discovery, practical strategies, and a healthy dose of 'Pollyanna' optimism!

Susan Jeffers, in "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway," begins by setting a scene familiar to many instructors: a room full of students, each carrying their own burdens of fear. She observes how, initially, they sit apart, a physical manifestation of their emotional isolation. But as each person shares their story—Don yearning to be an artist, Mary Alice avoiding auditions, Sarah contemplating leaving her marriage—a transformation occurs. The tension dissipates, replaced by a sense of camaraderie, a shared understanding that they are not alone in their anxieties. Jeffers then expertly dissects fear into three distinct levels. Level 1 encompasses surface fears, the everyday anxieties that either 'happen' to us or 'require action.' These are the fears we readily identify, like aging or public speaking. But beneath this veneer lies Level 2, the ego-driven fears centered on inner states: rejection, failure, disapproval. These fears, she notes, are less about specific situations and more about our sense of self-worth, casting long shadows across multiple areas of our lives. Jeffers illuminates how fear of rejection, for example, can poison friendships, relationships, and career prospects alike, leading to a self-imposed isolation. Finally, she arrives at Level 3, the core of all fear: "I can't handle it!" It’s a stark, almost anticlimactic revelation, yet profoundly empowering. Jeffers argues that beneath every anxiety, from the fear of illness to the fear of failure, lies this fundamental lack of trust in our own capabilities. Like an overprotective mother shielding her child, we’ve been conditioned to believe the world is too dangerous and we are too fragile. However, this realization is not a cause for despair, but rather, a call to action. Jeffers emphasizes that if one truly believed they could handle anything life throws their way, fear would lose its power. The key, therefore, is not to control the external world, but to cultivate inner trust. Develop the self-assurance to say, "I'll handle it," and the landscape of fear transforms from a minefield to a navigable path. Jeffers acknowledges the skeptics, those who question how one can handle paralysis or the death of a child. Yet, she urges readers to embrace the tools within the book, to embark on a journey toward unwavering self-confidence. It is a journey from helplessness to empowerment, from fear to freedom, guided by the simple yet profound belief: "I'll handle it."

Susan Jeffers addresses the common desire to eliminate fear before acting, a sentiment echoed in Janet's hesitation to return to college. Jeffers recounts her own journey after divorce, where she initially sought to banish fear, only to realize a profound truth: fear is a constant companion during growth. Like a child learning to walk, stumbling is part of the process, but each step builds confidence. The author emphasizes that waiting for fear to disappear is futile; instead, action precedes fear's dissipation. Jeffers illustrates this with her initial terror of teaching, which transformed into anticipation through repeated exposure. This highlights the insight that the only way to conquer the fear of doing something is to actually do it. Furthermore, she dismantles the notion that improved self-esteem must precede action, arguing that accomplishment fuels self-confidence: doing precedes feeling better. Jeffers shares the liberating revelation that everyone experiences fear when venturing into unfamiliar territory, even seemingly fearless figures like Ed Koch, who was terrified to learn a tap dance. She underscores that successful individuals push through fear rather than retreat from it, consciously or unconsciously embracing the principle of feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Finally, Jeffers challenges the assumption that avoiding risks equates to safety, asserting that living with the underlying fear of helplessness is more frightening than confronting one's anxieties. This is exemplified by Janice, who, after her husband's stroke, discovered a newfound strength and peace, realizing that facing her fears was less daunting than the constant dread she had previously lived with. The author urges readers to embrace fear as a companion on their adventures, transforming it from an anchor into a catalyst for growth, understanding that in the end, whether one feels the fear or not becomes irrelevant.

Susan Jeffers illuminates a pivotal shift: fear itself isn't the adversary, but rather how one *holds* that fear. She distinguishes between holding fear from a position of pain—characterized by helplessness and paralysis—versus a position of power, marked by choice and action. Jeffers redefines 'power' not as control over others, but as inner mastery over one's perceptions and reactions, emphasizing that true power fosters love and diminishes manipulation. For women, conditioned to view power as unfeminine, Jeffers prescribes affirmations to reconcile power with love, a vital step in owning one's strength. She introduces the Pain-to-Power Chart as a tool for self-assessment and tracking progress, urging readers to actively monitor their position on the continuum. Jeffers advocates for replacing disempowering language—'I can't,' 'I should'—with empowering alternatives like 'I won't' or 'I could,' shifting the locus of control inward. Like clearing rocks from a pathway, readers are encouraged to consciously choose actions that propel them towards a more powerful state. A vivid micro-metaphor: Jeffers likens those not embracing their power to individuals trying to extract it from others, a behavior rooted in fear and vulnerability. Finally, she challenges readers to expand their comfort zones daily, visualizing success to build confidence, and understanding that the magnitude of risk expands with confidence, transforming fear into a catalyst for growth. Jeffers reminds us that true power isn't drawn from external sources but tapped from an existing wellspring of inner energy, a resource accessible through conscious action and self-awareness.

Susan Jeffers confronts the subtle ways we relinquish control of our lives, often without realizing it, painting a stark picture of victimhood versus responsibility. She introduces Edward, Mara, and others, figures trapped in blaming cycles, illustrating how easily we attribute our unhappiness to external forces. Jeffers asserts a challenging truth: we are in total control, consciously or unconsciously choosing our circumstances, even the painful ones. This realization, though initially upsetting, becomes the key to unlocking joy. The author reframes responsibility, not as blame for all experiences, but as ownership of our reactions. Jeffers then lays out seven tenets of taking responsibility, starting with the radical idea of never blaming anyone else for our feelings or circumstances. She cautions against self-blame, reminding us that we've always done our best with the awareness we had. Like a detective, she urges us to identify where we play the victim, pinpointing anger, impatience, and self-pity as clues. She exposes the 'Chatterbox,' that internal voice of doom, and the hidden payoffs that keep us stuck in undesirable situations. Jeffers encourages us to actively shape our lives, set goals, and create the environments we desire, rather than passively waiting. Finally, she emphasizes the multitude of choices available in every situation, urging us to select paths that foster aliveness and growth. Like a garden needing constant tending, she acknowledges that taking full responsibility is a continuous process, one that leads to a more satisfying life. Jeffers leaves the reader with practical exercises—listing payoffs, exploring options, and reframing conversations—tools to reclaim their power and step out of the shadows of fear.

In this illuminating chapter, Susan Jeffers challenges the knee-jerk dismissal of positive thinking, asking us to reconsider the value of a 'Pollyanna' attitude. She dismantles the assumption that negativity equates to realism, revealing it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Jeffers illustrates this with the contrasting stories of Joan and Mary, two women facing similar tragedies, yet choosing divergent paths: one succumbing to despair, the other embracing possibility. The author emphasizes that our thoughts sculpt our reality; a shift in perspective can unlock untapped power. To drive home this point, Jeffers recounts Jack Canfield's arm experiment, a physical demonstration of how positive affirmations amplify strength while negative ones induce weakness, regardless of belief. This experiment serves as a potent metaphor: our inner dialogue acts as an unseen force, either bolstering or undermining our capabilities. Jeffers underscores that consistent practice is vital, positive thinking isn't a one-time fix but a continuous exercise, much like physical fitness. She presents a practical action plan, equipping readers with tools like affirmations, inspirational audios, and positive quotes to actively 'outtalk' their inner critic. Jeffers cautions against using positivity as a shield against genuine pain, advocating for a balanced approach that acknowledges suffering while maintaining a forward-looking perspective. Ultimately, the author positions positive thinking not as naive escapism, but as a potent catalyst for resilience, empowering us to confront fears and transform adversity into opportunity, proving that feeling the fear and doing it anyway starts with believing you can.

In this chapter of *Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway*, Susan Jeffers addresses a painful irony: as we gather the courage to change, those closest to us may resist. It's as if our newfound positivity shines a light on their own inertia, and they don't appreciate the contrast. Jeffers observes that people grow accustomed to our patterns, and change disrupts this equilibrium, leading to upset and fear—not just in ourselves, but in those we love. The initial tension arises from fearing the loss of relationships just when we need support the most. Jeffers urges us to evaluate our support systems: are they cheerleaders or detractors? She highlights the empowering effect of being surrounded by strong, motivated individuals, suggesting that negativity is contagious, while positivity allows us to "sprout wings and fly." The author encourages us to expand our circle, seeking out role models further along the path of personal growth, those who have "built bridges" across troubled waters. However, she acknowledges the guilt of outgrowing old friends, reminding us that others will find their own connections, and some may even be inspired to join us. Jeffers then turns to romantic relationships, where a partner's resistance can be particularly acute. She shares stories of Doris, who overcame agoraphobia, and Rona, who lost a significant amount of weight, both facing subtle sabotage from their husbands, driven by fear of change and insecurity. These stories illuminate the insight that sometimes, our growth forces others to confront their own limitations. Jeffers also presents the difficult reality that some relationships may not survive our transformation, as illustrated by Richard and Sheila, who ultimately chose personal growth over stagnant partnerships. She introduces the concept of the "Pendulum Syndrome," where we swing from passivity to aggression as we learn to assert ourselves, a bumpy but necessary part of the process. Jeffers advocates for win-win communication strategies, suggesting we respond with confidence and empathy, acknowledging others' concerns while staying true to our path. Ultimately, Jeffers resolves the initial tension by emphasizing self-acceptance and self-love. She suggests viewing difficult people as mirrors, reflecting areas where we still need to grow. The chapter concludes with the empowering idea that as we release the need for others' approval, we become more capable of loving them, and ourselves, unconditionally; inner strength is respected, so we get back what we put out.

In this chapter of *Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway*, Susan Jeffers addresses the paralysis that often accompanies decision-making, a state where individuals feel trapped between choices, much like that proverbial donkey starving between two bales of hay. She challenges the ingrained fear of making the wrong decision, a fear that whispers of deprivation and mistakes, holding us back from embracing life's opportunities. Jeffers introduces two contrasting models: the No-Win and the No-Lose. The No-Win model, a landscape of anxiety and second-guessing, leaves one constantly reassessing and regretting, trapped in a cycle of what-ifs. Conversely, the No-Lose model presents each path as equally valid, brimming with opportunities for growth and new experiences, regardless of the outcome. Jeffers illustrates this with the example of a job offer, reframing potential setbacks as chances for resilience and learning. She shares the story of Alex, who shifted from law to psychology, demonstrating that even perceived detours can lead to invaluable discoveries and unexpected connections. The initial resistance to the No-Lose model stems from a societal conditioning that equates negativity with realism, a mindset Jeffers urges us to challenge. She emphasizes that embracing a No-Lose perspective shifts us from a position of pain to one of empowerment. A critical shift lies in redefining opportunities beyond traditional markers of success, viewing them instead as chances to enhance self-esteem and build trust in one's ability to handle whatever comes. Jeffers underscores that security isn't about having things, but about handling things. She then provides actionable steps for navigating decisions, both before and after they are made. Before deciding, focus on the No-Lose model, do your homework by seeking diverse perspectives, establish your priorities through soul-searching, trust your impulses, and lighten up, recognizing that life is a learning journey. After deciding, throw away your picture of expectations, accept total responsibility for your choices, and don't protect a failing decision—correct it. Jeffers uses Stewart Emery's inertial guidance system analogy to illustrate that course correction is a natural part of the process, with confusion and dissatisfaction serving as valuable clues that you're off track. Ultimately, Jeffers advocates for embracing mistakes as integral to growth, urging readers to shift from fearing mistakes to fearing stagnation. She concludes with exercises to reinforce this new way of thinking, encouraging readers to consider decisions through the No-Lose lens, practice the “it doesn’t really matter” mindset, and affirm their ability to handle any outcome, recognizing that life is a rich adventure filled with endless opportunities for learning and growth.

Susan Jeffers, in her insightful manner, delves into the perils of defining oneself solely through one aspect of life, painting vivid portraits of Louise, Bob, and Jeanne, each embodying the devastation that follows when their singular focus—relationship, career, and children, respectively—crumbles, leaving behind a hollow echo of what once was; she underscores that such dependency breeds unattractive qualities like anger and resentment, born from a fear of losing one's identity. Jeffers then introduces a transformative concept: the Whole Life Grid, a visual representation of a balanced life comprising various nourishing elements; she contrasts Louise's empty void with Nancy's vibrant grid, showcasing how diversifying one's emotional investments cushions against life's inevitable losses, creating a sense of abundance and diminishing neediness. The author emphasizes the power of commitment, not as an eternal vow, but as a wholehearted engagement in the present moment, illustrating this with Sandy's revitalized work experience after choosing to fully participate, acting as if she truly counted. Jeffers advocates contribution, not in grandiose terms, but as a daily practice of making a difference in one's immediate surroundings, fostering self-esteem and a sense of purpose. She then lays out actionable steps to construct one's own Whole Life Grid: acknowledging destructive patterns, visualizing desired life components, and translating these visions into concrete actions, fueled by the "Magic Duo" of 100% commitment and the belief in one's own significance, a beacon cutting through the fog of fear and leading towards a richer, more complete existence, where the loss of one element doesn't spell utter ruin, but merely a space to be filled with new possibilities.

In this chapter, Susan Jeffers introduces a transformative concept: saying yes to your universe, a principle she learned from her teacher Janet Zuckerman. It's not about blind acceptance, but rather about releasing resistance to life's unexpected turns. Jeffers illuminates how clinging to a rigid picture of how things *should* be sets us up for fear, a tension she resolves by advocating for openness to new possibilities. Saying yes, she argues, is the antidote to this fear, a way to relax, survey the situation calmly, and reduce anxiety. The author contrasts this with saying no, which casts us as victims, blocking growth and creating emotional upheaval, or worse, apathy; it’s the pain of resistance versus the pain of acceptance. Jeffers illustrates the power of saying yes through the story of Charles, a man paralyzed from the waist down after a shooting, who transformed his suffering into a source of inspiration for others. His life became a testament to creating value from adversity, a beacon in the darkness. Jeffers then recounts student anecdotes, such as Nadine, who found sweetness in the pain of remembering her deceased mother, and Betsy, who embraced the bittersweet moment of her son leaving for college, choosing to see new beginnings rather than emptiness. These stories highlight that acknowledging pain is crucial; denial, as seen in the example of Sandy, whose unacknowledged grief manifested as epilepsy, can be destructive. Jeffers emphasizes that richer lives often mean experiencing more pain, more goodbyes, but those who live fully wouldn't trade it, they intuitively grasp the secret of saying yes. Drawing on Viktor Frankl's experiences in a concentration camp, Jeffers underscores humanity's capacity to choose one's attitude even in the most horrific circumstances, finding meaning where others see only despair. The author addresses the misconception that saying yes means accepting injustice, clarifying that it is, in fact, a call to positive action, a belief in the possibility of change. Saying yes means getting up and acting on your belief that you can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands you. Jeffers provides practical steps to cultivate this yes-attitude: creating awareness of when you are saying no, physically nodding your head in affirmation, relaxing your body, and actively seeking ways to create value from every experience, a skill that improves with practice, starting with trivial events. It’s about learning not to push the river, but to get into the flow, trusting that the world works perfectly when we open our minds to it, transforming resistance into a dance with life's unfolding adventure.

Susan Jeffers begins by challenging our perception of generosity, recounting an exercise where students struggled to express gratitude to their spouses, revealing how often giving is transactional rather than altruistic. She posits that fear underlies our difficulty in giving, stemming from a primal sense of scarcity and a childish dependence, where we metaphorically remain in the crib, terrified our needs won't be met. Jeffers argues that genuine giving, however, isn't just altruistic; it's self-fulfilling, breaking the chains of fear and control. She introduces the concept that until one reaches mid-thirties, one may realize that no matter how much one has in life, nothing will ever be enough. The author then advocates for a radical shift: releasing, letting go, and giving away, even when it feels counterintuitive. Jeffers outlines practical exercises, starting with acknowledging and thanking those who have contributed to our lives, even those who brought pain, transforming negatives into valuable lessons. She guides us through visualizing those who evoke anger, surrounding them with healing light until negativity dissolves, fostering forgiveness and inner peace. Jeffers emphasizes the importance of expressing gratitude, giving away information, and offering praise, especially to loved ones, to unlock reciprocal love. Time and money, often guarded resources, become opportunities for abundance when shared. Ultimately, Jeffers equates all giving with giving love, urging us to let others be, trust their paths, and release the need to control. By recognizing our inherent abundance through practices like creating a 'Book of Abundance,' we shift from a mindset of lack to one of limitless potential, echoing George Bernard Shaw's call to be thoroughly used up for a mighty purpose, transforming fear into a splendid torch illuminating the world.

In this reflective chapter, Susan Jeffers delves into the concept of the Higher Self, positioning it as the key to overcoming feelings of emptiness and fear. She introduces the Higher Self as a wellspring of virtues like creativity, intuition, trust, and love, often overshadowed by the distractions of modern life, which focuses primarily on body and mind, leaving the spirit—the Higher Self—lost in the shuffle. Jeffers suggests that the pervasive sense of Divine Homesickness, that feeling of being lost or off-course, is a signal to realign with this inner essence. She offers a model of being, contrasting the negative influence of the 'Chatterbox,' the repository of negativity and self-doubt, with the affirming power of the Higher Self. Imagine the mind as a garden: the Chatterbox sows weeds of fear, while the Higher Self cultivates blossoms of joy and abundance. Jeffers emphasizes that the Conscious Mind can be trained to choose between these voices, directing the Subconscious Mind and, consequently, one's experience of reality. The author illuminates how connecting with the Higher Self can lead to a life of joy, satisfaction, and safety, while ignoring it perpetuates a cycle of discontent and fear. She advocates for consciously focusing on the spiritual part of ourselves through practices like affirmations, positive thinking, and tapping into Universal Energy. Further, Jeffers highlights the importance of intuition, describing it as a tool of the Subconscious Mind that can lead to miraculous coincidences when trusted and acted upon. She also offers a guided visualization exercise, encouraging readers to imagine approaching their goals without fear, tapping into their inner power and confidence. Ultimately, Jeffers urges readers to make a conscious choice to tune into their Higher Self, fostering a life filled with love, joy, and peace, understanding that while proof of these concepts may be elusive, the transformative experiences they offer are undeniable. The choice, as she puts it, is between control and trust, scarcity and abundance, fear and excitement.

Susan Jeffers, in this reflective chapter, addresses the reader directly, acting as a guide for those navigating the anxieties that arise even after acknowledging their fears. She emphasizes that the tools and motivations gained from her book are a constant resource, a comforting beacon to return to when feeling lost or overwhelmed; she suggests rereading passages that resonate, offering a sense of groundedness. Jeffers cautions against impatience, framing it as a form of self-punishment that breeds stress and fear, urging readers to question the urgency fueled by their inner "Chatterbox" and to trust in the perfect unfolding of events. She illustrates this with a tender anecdote of her son waiting impatiently for a flower to bloom, reminding us that inner growth, like nature, follows its own rhythm, often unseen until the sudden, beautiful reveal. Jeffers reframes perceived struggles as opportunities for learning, experiences orchestrated by the universe to teach invaluable lessons, removing the victimhood from the situation and encouraging acceptance. She envisions life as an ongoing educational journey, where the joy lies in the challenging process of self-discovery, each breakthrough adding another piece to the jigsaw puzzle of existence. The author encourages readers to stay aligned with their Higher Self, gauging their path by the joy, satisfaction, and love it provides, and to understand that internal change precedes external transformation, much like climbing a mountain where each pause offers a more spectacular, compassionate view. Jeffers acknowledges that spiritual growth isn't always linear; there are plateaus where consolidation occurs, beliefs are shed, and sudden insights emerge from the subconscious. She adopts Lena Horne's humble perspective, recognizing that there is always more to learn, with experience as the greatest teacher, an appreciation that deepens with age. Quoting from The Velveteen Rabbit, Jeffers highlights the transformative, sometimes painful, process of becoming "Real," where vulnerability and authenticity outweigh superficial perfection. The author urges readers to actively engage with available resources, to "take" rather than passively wait for them to "take hold," and to cultivate the "muscle" that elevates them to their Higher Self. Drawing from Rollo May, she defines joy not merely as happiness but as the ebullient expression of our spiritual selves, characterized by lightness and humor, qualities found in those who are centered and enlightened. Jeffers recounts participating in Hands Across America, a moment of collective joy and purpose, illustrating how involvement reduces fear and connects us to something greater. Ultimately, she calls for a commitment to pushing through fear, to embody the loving and powerful energy of our Higher Self in every action, moving closer to a state of connection and fearlessness, no matter the external circumstances.

Susan Jeffers' 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' is more than just a self-help guide; it's a transformative journey towards self-empowerment. The core takeaway is that fear is inevitable, a constant companion, but our *relationship* with it dictates its power. The emotional lesson lies in understanding that fear often masks a deeper insecurity—a belief in our inability to cope. Jeffers offers practical wisdom by breaking down fears, challenging negative thought patterns, and emphasizing action as the antidote to anxiety. The book underscores the importance of internal power—cultivating self-trust, taking responsibility, and shaping our responses. It encourages embracing positive thinking, building supportive relationships, and reframing decisions as opportunities for growth. Ultimately, 'Feel the Fear' teaches us to say 'yes' to life, accept its inevitable pain, and find meaning through contribution, love, and connection with our Higher Self, transforming fear from a paralyzing force into a catalyst for growth and a pathway to a more fulfilling existence.